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Not enough mana. [Nov. 16th, 2009|12:12 pm]
Okay, so.

NaNoWriMo was kind of a bust. Sure, I could try, but inspiration fled almost the moment it began. On the other hand, this was the best I've ever done, so we'll chalk it up to a win.

Also haven't had the inspiration to make videos, but I'm considering finding a few topics to cram together, just so I can comment on DFO. It's still the best MMO I've ever played, even if I don't really have the paitence for it right now. I dunno, Up on DVD, DFO, maybe 2012... Yeah, I want to see that movie. And why not? Looks like it's going to be amusing, at least.

Then, I want to do a video on Black Lagoon... But it might be several videos, since I want to comment on the second Roberta arc, and since that piece of shit lasted some four volumes, that's a video on its own. Worse, the arc doesn't even end, it just kind of stops suddenly. Yeah, Black Lagoon went on hiatus, and came back at the climax, with numerous subplots dropped. This has the unfortunate side effect of sidelining Revy and Rock... But with what Hiroe has been doing to them, I can't really say I mind.

Put another way, when Revy said "This is a lacking climax..." I couldn't help but think Rei Hiroe was hanging a lampshade on the whole abortion. Even with this act of mercy, Hiroe is still getting raked over the coals for what he did to Roberta...

Then, if Hueco Mundo ends in Bleach anytime soon, I might comment on that... Or just do a video wherein I rant for ten minutes about how much Rangiku and Orihome suck, and how much better Rukia is.

Hell. I might do that anyway...

Ah well. Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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Happy Halloween! [Oct. 30th, 2009|12:07 pm]
... Or not, since that's not for another twelve hours. But just in case I forget...

Speaking of Halloween, I bust my ass to complete the third quest of the Halloween event in Dungeon Fighter Online, for my pumpkin head... Only to find IT HAS A FUCKING TIME LIMIT OF THIRTY DAYS. Yeah, way to go, guys. It wasn't even worth the stats, either... I hate it when companies do this, they introduce a hard to get reward, and put some really crippling limitations on it.

Meh. At least I'm back in the game.

Anyway. I'm actually planning on doing National Novel Writing Month this year, and I plan on winning. ... no idea if that's even possible for me, but I'm going to try. I mean, I have a story idea, I have characters, I LIKE these characters... So there's a chance.

Also, the next few months could be good for me, actually. Better than they have been in previous years, anyway.

Ah well. Time will tell.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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There's this dungeon, see? And you fight it, right? [Oct. 24th, 2009|12:28 pm]
Actually, you PUNCH IT IN THE FACE. Yes, dungeons have faces, and faces exist to be punched.

Now you're smarter.

And yeah, I'm going to have a video out, probably tomorrow. My long overdue review on Dungeon Fighter Online.

Also, out of bordeom, I've been playing Bleach The Third Phantom, the DS title that's a strategy game.

How is it? Well... It's a liscenced strategy game. They have all these systems (Bankai, Free Time, Kido) that just really don't work. Near as I can tell, Kido users are almighty, as once you got it so you can use it after moving, you can just flit about and fry enemies at will, as they can't counter Kido.

Some characters can do this too, such as Chad, whose El Directo special also provokes no counter attack, and does absurd damage. The initial fight with Yammy, the one that was scripted to end when Yourouichi and Urahara got involved... Did, but they didn't get a chance to ACT, as Chad El Directo'd Yammy into critical, causing him to flee.

Later, Yammy claims that Urahara and Yourouichi beat him up. I like to think he was too embarassed to admit that it was that massive lump, Chad...

The game has scads of recycled art from the previous entries, and a plot that, while interesting in the first half, quickly becomes stupidtastic, and I only keep playing because it amuses me... for all the wrong reasons.

Such as when a Menos Grande killed Don Kan'onji.

He gained a level. No, not Don.

The Menos. (As well he should, Don put up  a fight for FOUR TURNS!)

So yeah. Might do a formal review of this once I've beaten it.

Oh and the girl main character? She has some nice tits...

Anyway, have a nice day and enjoy your maids.
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I have no words, and I must rant. [Oct. 18th, 2009|06:40 pm]
But, as I said, I have no words.

So I'm going to let this little find speak for itself.

Good luck, everyone.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.

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Inventory sucks. [Oct. 16th, 2009|12:05 pm]
And no, I don't mean the one in Dungeon Fighter Online, although that does suck too. Is it any wonder why I upgraded the chest twice?

No, no, I mean the inventory my store just ran. I don't know who's fault it was, but I didn't get out until 6:30 PM. Normally, not a real problem. But yesterday? Yesterday was Thursday.

Thursday is my D&D night. It takes me about fourty-five minutes to get to where it's at. It normally starts at six and ends at nine or so. In other words, I wasn't able to get there until half past seven, and wasn't able to run the game.

It should be said that my players were there anyway, because they wanted to see me. That was actually rather touching. I wound up giving them some indication of what I'll be doing in the near future, and they're all happy with my Dungeon Mastering skills, have been for some time.

They're looking forward to fighting Orcus at the end of the campaign. And I'm looking forward to it, too.

Ah well. There's always next week. ... Didn't have anything planned anyway.

And sometimes I wish my job would fire me. ... Oh well.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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Harmony of Bullshit [Oct. 13th, 2009|06:20 am]
Okay, so.

During my GBA emulation days, I played a few titles, including all the Castlevania titles. The only one I really liked was Aria of Sorrow, which I REALLY liked. I've cleared it multiple times, and I'm of the mind that it's the best CV since Symphony of the Night. It almost recaptures that magic.

Now, this means I didn't like Circle of the Moon and Harmony of Dissonance. And I REALLY did not like them. Our subject for today is Harmony, but most of what I say about it applies to Circle as well.

I was in Gamestop yesterday, looking for Club House Games, when I came across a used version of Harmony of Dissonance. I decided, what the hell? Maybe I'd never given it a fair shake, you know? Maybe playing it as it was intended to be played would give me some idea of why this game is so loved and adored.

... all it did was remind me of why I hated it so much.

Harmony is bullshit. It's garbage.

It's full of confusing dead end corridors, blocked passgaes you need various tools for, pointless switchbacks, and overpowered enemies. Add to this INCREDIBLY sparse save points, and you already have a recepie for disaster.

But then you get Harmony's unique elements, as every Metrodvania (ever tell ya how much I hate that word?) must have unique and sometimes counter-intuative systems.

This game brought in subweapons, as those familliar with CV might recognise, but it also brought in Magic Books. Using a book changes your subweapon into a magic attack, depending on the book... and the subweapon. I found this needlessely confusing in every playthrough I attempted, considering that subweapons are in candles throughout the castle, but it's easy to forget which ones. And why do I get the sinking feeling that unique combinations might be required to solve puzzles at some point?

Oh, all THIS would be enough on its own, but Harmony has one more trick up its sleeve: There are two castles. Yes, two castles. You can switch between them via the gates, and there are different things in each one, different enemies and different bosses. Often stronger ones. So, navigation is not merely confusing, it's nearly impossible.

Oh, and save points and gates are often not even vaguely next to one another. Makes me long for Dawn of Sorrow's "Teleporters = Save Points" because of the easily accessed save point in Lost Villiage, right below the teleporter..

I was going to comment on this game in the past, but I didn't want anyone to think I was whining about the difficulty. This game, honestly, isn't actually HARD.

It's just grotesquely unfair.

I was inspired by the LJ of someone I haven't had much reason to read, but when Gel showed me something he said about Demon's Souls, I was finally inscenced to post, inspired by him putting into words things I haven't been able to express myself.

See, all those games everyone thinks are so hard? The Konami MSX titles? Shin Megami Tensei? Mega Man Zero? La-Mulana? Most of these are only hard BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING UNFAIR. Through some combination of withholding information, putting in powerful enemies, starving you for weapons, not allowing you to save often, and inserting death traps, a lot of games are regarded as being hard, when all they are doing is punishing you for imperfection, ie, being frustrating, not hard.

Aria of Sorrow is quite hard in places, because the save points are a bit far apart, but also because many of the bosses are quite tricky. You need to balance your powers against what they can do and find a way to win. Yes, it's fairly linear, but is that really a bad thing? I don't MIND knowing how far I am into the game by the story/map progression, nor do I mind not needing to backtrack through every room, to find the one item I somehow missed in order to proceed. Even Symphony had this problem...

So while I might continue to pick away at Harmony, I feel pretty much vindicated in hating it now: It's not hard, it's just unfair.

Some people like that. I, however, do not.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.

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Tower of Flour [Oct. 11th, 2009|08:41 pm]
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Okay, so.

No DFO update in awhile, so... Shadow?

"The things I've seen and done should not be repeated. Let my silence speak volumes, and my lack of testamoney be my final testament to Sky Tower."

That's no fun. Mima, care to fill in?

"Sure! Okay, so, yeah. Shadow gets all these quests, and one of them, see, involves going to Sky Tower and fighting the Castellan of Light. And he does it, but the Castellan reforms instantly! So he tells Kiri that Seighart can't be killed, which results in the following conversation... Hold on a sec... *gets out some puppets of Kiri and Shadow, and makes a bad crayon drawing backdrop of the main street of Hendon Myre*

Shadow: I can't kill Seighart, and life is pain!

Kiri: Like, you gotta kill him, so we can go back to Emperyan!

Shadow: But I'm not from Emperyan...

Kiri: Like, this is for the future! Anyway, Seighart probably keeps coming back to life because he's loyal to Bakal, the big dragon who took over Emperyan a kajillion years ago!

*bad crayon drawing of a completely inaccurate Bakal lording over a disporportnate Sky Tower*

Kiri: So, convince him that Bakal is dead!

Shadow: Wait, you want me to rob him of his will to live?


Kiri: What, you wanna kill him anyway! And how many living things do you cut up in a day.

Shadow: 23,456, but that's besides the point! Killing people is one thing, but robbing a man of his will to live, that's just monstrous!

Kiri: Do it or so help me I'll shoot you in the balls!

Shadow: ... Fine, but I want TWO Skill Books. AND a title.

Kiri: ... Deal.


*throws the puppets off stage and folds up the drawings* So, Shadow gets a buncha quests, including Cinda wanting Seighart's lightsaber, and GSD, the creepy bum, wanting to go to the Tower one more time. As such...

*bad craying drawing of the Castellan's Chambers,
puppets of Shadow and GSD*

GSD: This is it. In order to defeat Seighart, I need you to show him Bakal's Will.

Shadow: But, why me?

GSD: Because I'm going to do all the HARD work. And because depriving anyone, even a glowing energy being, of their will to live? I've done some terrible things in my life, but that's simply too much!

Shadow: ... God damn it...

And so! Seighart is defeated, the Sky Tower is open again... sorta... and Shadow even got the Lightsaber and helped Cinda fufill his dream! As such...

*puppets of Cinda and Shadow*

Cinda: Thank you! My master must finally be at rest! Here, let me turn this saber into a weapon you can use!

Shadow: Thank you, I'll be sure to get some use out of it.

Cinda: Here you go: The Light Zanbato, a weapon that does Light damage!

Shadow: Magnificent! Wait. light?! *drops the sword and starts waving his hand* OH GOD! GOD DAMN IT, IT BURNS! GOD DAMN YOU CINDA, IT BURNS! 

... And that was Shadow's day. Yep!"

Thank you, Mima, who knew she was a puppeteer?

Anyway, have a nice day and enjoy your maids.

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Holy shit. [Oct. 10th, 2009|06:39 am]
Holy SHIT.


I knew there was a reason I liked you, JewWario. Above and beyond the fact that you have one of the best shows on That Guy, I mean.

Now I need to find a Hanafuda deck. I also need to get Club House Games, why not?

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids. ... if I had maids, I could play Hanafuda with them...

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"Hi, it's Nexon with the Cash Shop!" [Oct. 9th, 2009|12:33 pm]
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"... And we're gonna be in a great mood all day, cuz you'll be slapping your money away with the Cash Shop!"

Yeah. Dungeon Fighter Online's cash shop opened yesterday. They ran a special event to get to 10,000 purchases, which they accomplished in LESS THAN ONE FULL DAY OF OPERATION. (Edit: I got this number wrong, they only hit their first milestone that day. In the ensuant five days since, they are approaching 30,000 purchases. 100,000 might take them a month, but DAMN...)

If you see the Arad Senki anime on TV anytime soon, don't be too suprised.

But yeah. The cash shop. They did a few things that pissed me off. First, you NEED a cash card, as only characters of 30 or above can buy tokens with Nexon credits (Why?). Also, the item that resets skills, Lethe's River Water, costs 25,000 points... Or, roughly, $25 USD (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!).

Next is the avatar system, they're keeping the Gashapon from the Japanese version, meaning you buy tokens and get a random piece of apparel. You can select which slot, though. The only saving grace to this is that the parts all look pretty good... except the Mage Balloon Pants. Oh GOD.

Anyway, right now, Shadowtaker looks like a ninja master. So I feel good about that, I guess.

Next month, I might get more credits. Unless I get fired... Or maybe I won't let that stop me.

Ah well. More on stuff, including possibly more Mima and Shadowtaker, tonight.

For now, I need to go back to work. Sigh.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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The Daily Grind [Oct. 8th, 2009|05:22 am]
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Okay, so.

Dungeon Fighter Online. No in character this time, as I think this is better said by me.

... I really hate grinding. I've just spent two full days grinding. It was worth it, of course, as I'm almost to 25, with enough skill points for the skills I want, almost enough materials to finish an annoying quest (God damn you, Lorianne and Albert!) and enough healing items to open my own drugstore, but my god...

Also, part of this was spent in PVP. PVP of discordant levels does not work. It simply doesn't. When a Berzerker can vomit blood on my prone body and kill me, it simply doesn't work. Again, fuck you, Albert.

Sigh. This IS an MMO but eh. I suppose I was expecting this. Perhaps in character will come later. I'm not up for it right now.

Just... Bleh. 

Ah well, cash shop opens today. Actually looking forward to that.

Anyway.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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Out of the Light [Sep. 29th, 2009|11:40 pm]
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Okay, so... Work didn't go TOO badly, I get tomorrow off, I have a new icon... Hey, Shadow, you got anything to add?

"No... I couldn't make any progress, and am currently drowning my sorrows in Drake Champaigne. I was saving this for Daphne, but it's not worth it. What's the use?"

Ahem. Well, he's no fun today. So let's hear from someone new. YoungMima?

"Hello, all! My name is Mima Youngersen, and I'm a Mage... apparently. What? YoungMima? That's just what my Dungeon Fighter ID reads as... No! Don't look at it! They didn't get my good side, and my mouth is kinda open in that shot, I look stupid! Give that back!
... Well
, anyway I found myself in Arad, in search of something. What is it? It's a secret!
... Okay, so I don't actually know. I just get this feeling that whatever it is I need, it's here, in Arad.
Anyway, when I got here, I was introduced to Sharona, the Dark Elf sorceress, who thought I was from this place called Pandemonium. I apparently look a lot like them. I don't know much about it, except they were supposed to be really strong, and they're all nearly extinct now. But she seemed so happy that she'd found one of them, so I didn't have the heat to correct her. I lied and said I'm from Pandemonium. Yeah, it feels bad, but you should have seen the look on her face, it's like she'd found out her dead best friend was alive or something.
Thinking about it, though, I've seen a lot of Mages who look like me. They can't ALL be from Pandemonium, can they? Maybe they're all lying...
And while I'm at it... Do all Slayers have mutated left arms? Why is it always the left arm? Why never the right arm? And are there that many mutants? Really? Or what about Priests? Chosen by God? Must be a pretty active god, I'll say that much! And... Are all Gunners REALLY from Emperyan? Did they all fall from the sky?
Why do I suddenly have this urge to sing a song called "It's Raining Men?"
Yeah, that's something about me: I remember things, but I don't know why, or where they came from. I'm hoping that, once I learn Ancient Memory from Seria, I can make sense of it.
Oh, Seria. She's cute and all, but how in the heck can she know all these great skills, and yet be such a darn pushover? If she can teach me how to score 'critical hits' (whatever those are), why can't she teach herself? Something is wrong with that girl... But I guess that's true of most of the regulars. I'll touch on them next time, see ya later, everybody!"



... Yeah, I'm having WAY too much fun with this game...

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Stuff. [Sep. 28th, 2009|06:59 pm]
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I made one video today. Meant to make two but wasn't feeling it. I'd rather play DFO, not rant about it.

That said, more Shadowtaker rantings:

"Attempts to find the higher level of the Puppet Museum were going badly. Too many of my 'fellows' would get petrified, run right into statue attacks, and so on, dying horrible deaths. I know that facing these petrified heroes is disorienting, even unerring, but you must value your life. It's either them, or you.
While I was doing this, though, I found another section of the tower- The Golem Tower. The Golems had gone berserk and taken over. I didn't want to go, but Jeli, the intrepid bimbo, heard that I'd found another level of the tower, and wanted me to take her there. So, that's where we went, with some other adventurers we'd passed on the way. It turns out that if you destroy the Golem Commander, the armor they have breaks, making them easier targets... Faster targets too, unfortunately.
At any rate, we managed to defeat the boss of this area too (An even larger Golem. Imagine that.), and I was told that Kiri would be interetsed in what I found there- A Tower within the Tower.
So, I told her. She was shocked, and kind of stared into space. I attempted to get more info out of her, but she kind of slumped forward and sulked off to the tavern. Siusha took her into a back room, presumably to help her 'relax'.
Sigh.

I got my own shock, though, as soon after this, I WOULD find the infested area of the Puppet Museum, and GSD came with me once more. The powers he unleashed will likely haunt my sleep. Light fled from his presence, wings of red radiance appeared from his back, lances of pure energy chased our foes, and eyes, countless, staring eyes, would open and bestow chaos upon everything in our path. I was barely present. GSD is a nightmare given flesh. I can truly see why he retired- Power like his must never be used lightly.
I should hope I live long enough to "retire" so...

Jeli wants me to go with her back to the Golem Tower. I suppose it's best while I wait for Kiri to 'relax' and tell me what I need to know..."

God I love this game.

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God I hate inventory... [Sep. 26th, 2009|11:38 am]
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I should dig up that Touhou pic I have with all the warning signs and Gimp a translation for the one with Rinnousuke that says "Inventory In Progress."

... Since he's counting packages, and one's missing.

And speaking of Touhou, I think that if you want to make crack pairings, you should do it right: Utusuho and Pyron (Darkstalkers). I'm not sure who'd be the aggressor in this one, but they have a lot in common. They're both into burning things, both emit nuclear fire, and are both heavily under-utilized in their canons.

Anyway... What the hell? More Shadowtaker rantings!

"Upon hearing that I'd found a heavily infested part of the Dragonite Nest, GSD requested I bring him there. He was of the mind that whatever caused his Kazan infection- and mine- Is in the Sky Tower. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted, assuring me that, difficult as it would be, he was ready for what awaited us.
I didn't believe him. I should have.
The moment we entered the Tower, his normally stooped posture became fully erect, and the grace and speed he moved with was matched only by his sheer overwhelming power. Beholding his skill in combat was terrifying. He seemed more concerned with the monsters, though, and a good thing, too. Here I thought I was escorting him, but it was more like he was escorting me...
At any rate, we very quickly found the boss and bludgeoned him to death, as once GSD froze him in a block of ice (Can I learn to do that? God, I hope so...), it was all over but the shouting.
After this awe-inspiring display, GSD said that what he was looking for was higher up, and wants me to find a similarly infested part of the Puppet Museum. That's going to take awhile, as I may have to help Jeli satisfy her training to become a... Striker, or what have you.
But a lot of my time is spent in the towns, where I've come to know some of the regulars. Lorianne is a real mystery: She's obviously powerful, but when she wandered into the Sky Tower, she was at once captured, and I had to go save her. She's been less of a bitch to me since then, if only slightly. But if she's strong enough to turn a dog into a dragon... Hrm. Maybe she's only good at transformations. I know someone who'd like that a lot...
Similarly is Kargon, a Dark Elf with a very bad attitude. I do like his outlook on battle, though, and he's been fairly useful so far. I just wish his requests weren't so bizarre. He tried to get me to help him woo Seria. That went about as well as you'd expect...
Speaking of Seria, she's truly strange. She seems utterly unaffected by the events going on around her. Sometimes, she even seems to forget who I am. (Maybe that's why she wants ME to forget her not...)
I can only assume that the events of the Devolution have unhinged her. At least, when we all die, one of us is going to be happy...
Then there's the girl who runs the bar. I forget her name right now, but she always seems TOO eager to help me "relax" when I am forced to retreat. She might be attractive, but I don't want to know how many adventurers she helps to "relax"...
Oh, and Daphne. I wish she'd deal with me instead of Roger. She's at least cute.
Ahem... Never mind..."

And that's all for now. Video forthcoming... I hope.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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Sky Rave [Sep. 25th, 2009|06:19 am]
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Okay, so.

Not much to say, lately. Work's been a drag, mostly because inventory is coming. But what can you do?

Meanwhile... Well, hell. Since it was fun last time, two more in-character reports from Shadowtaker, my Slayer in Dungeon Fighter Online!

"I once heard a story of men who built a tower that reached to the sky. For their arrogance, they were cursed by a god, to speak only nonsense.
Whatever god did that, I would take him over the one that cursed Sky Tower. This bizarre place teems with mutants, ones far worse than the ones in Gran Flores. Their assaults have been vicious, in particular, those of the guardian of the Dragonoid Nest, and I have been
forced to withdraw several times. Only through the help of Jeli have I been able to make any progress.
Fortunately,this will soon bear fruit, as GSD is almost ready to tell me what I wish to know. Soon, the demon will be at my command, and then, the real battle will begin!
... I just wish the stairs in the Nest wouldn't lurch like that. What's holding them up? It's disorienting..."

And an update for yesterday, too...

"At last! My goal is achieved! Yes, I returned to GSD, and he was suprisingly supportive of my decision to become a 'Soul Bender.' Perhaps I was wrong about the old man. At any rate, he sent me into the Shadow Thunderland to gather materials, and soon enough,
I had the items I needed to satisfy his conditions. The shackle on my left arm broke, and the power was mine to command, at long last! Now, Kazan will obey me, instead of the other way around! To celebrate this victory, I dragged Jeli to the Puppet Museum, another place in the Sky Tower that was even stranger than the one before it. Living statues, in the form of Adventurers, just like us, teem in this place, and are most terrible opponents. We managed to score some voctories against them, however, and now, GSD wants me to return to the nest, believing that there's a connection between the mutants there and our demonic hands.
... also I'm back to using sticks. I probably should have become a Weapon Master, but no... Now I'm stuck with sticks. Sigh. Maybe I need to master them..."


And that's about all for today. Yes, I'm enjoying DFO, thank you very much.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.

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Native Fail [Sep. 21st, 2009|11:48 am]
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Okay, so.

Dungeon Fighter Online's Early Beta draws to a close today, with the Open Beta starting tomorrow.

The verdict? Much better than the Closed Beta. Mostly because I had friends to play with this time. And of the five people I wanted to join me, three are in love with the game, and the other two have fallen victim t Nexon's idiotic policies and procedures. Had to happen, right? These are the Maple Story people, after all...

As for my progress? I'll let Shadowtaker explain it...

"Finally, my time in Grand Flores draws to a close. With the Goblins in chaos, the Tau shamed, and undead on the retreat, there is rather little left for me in Hendon Mire. The Sky Tower beckons to me, taunting me with its mystery and... tallness... Or something... At any rate, soon, it will be time. That long-winded blind fart, GSD, told me to return to him in a short while, and he would help me advance in power. He no doubt hopes that I will become an Asura like him, but I value my eyes too much to give them up to Kazan. No, I feel he is wrong. I will not purge this infection, rather, I will master it. And Sky Tower will be where it is all tested. My ally, Jelli, has been there already, but her description of the place is bizarre. 'It's like a giant rave party in the sky!' she told me, not that I know what a 'rave party' is supposed to be. But Jelli comes from far away, and brings strange lores. ... She also has a disturbing fixation with slimes, and an almost as disquieting love of suplexing minotaurs. Still, strange or not, she will help me. After a short rest, I will go to the Tower. Soon..."

Ahem. Thank you, Shadowtaker, that's quite enough. I'll probably make an update video, since I missed a lot, and one of the things I'll touch on is DFO. So yeah.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.

Shadowtaker's Edit: "Oh right. Sticks. I hate sticks. It's not that they're bad weapons or anything. And that's why I hate them. I am a Slayer- in some places, known better as a Ghost Knight, apparently- I would think swinging about a giant sword would be most suitable. But most of the high-quality weapons I've found? Sticks. Even GSD's reward for completing his training was a STICK he used years ago. A reward for purifying the Shadow Thunderland? AN EVEN STRONGER STICK. It's like the universe is trying to tell me to use sticks! But I won't listen! I will find a zanbato worthy of my darkness and rage! I will abandon sticks forever! I will-"

Shadow?

"... Er, yes?"

Get back in the game.

"It's closed. I can't get back in until tomorrow."

... Okay, fine. But no more ranting.

"Fine. Have a nice night, and enjoy your maids."

AND DON'T JACK MY LINES, DAMN IT!


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Adam Smasher [Sep. 17th, 2009|10:09 pm]
Okay, so.

Today at work, one of my co-workers told another that I don't smoke. Upon hearing this, he turned to me- he usually fucks with me, you see- and said, "You don't drink, you don't smoke, what do you do?"

To which I responded, "Hey, I liked that song!"

...

...

...

...

...

... Yeah, he didn't get it, either. Look on his face was priceless, though! 

Here is the joke, but bonus points if you already got it.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids. (What do I do? Maids, of course.)
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Dungeon The Fighters [Sep. 16th, 2009|12:12 pm]
Okay, so.

Dungeon Fighter Online opened yesterday to ridiclous turnout. I rolled a Priest (FatherKyo) and a Slayer (Shadowtaker), and got the Slayer to 8. In the process, I already had to use my Slayer catchphrase.

What is it? Well, those who saw my rant on YouTube know what it is already, but... I was in a party for Thunderland Expert, and someone in the group said that the boss was "hard to solo."

I couldn't remember the boss, but if I did, I'd have known I was in trouble if they thought that was the case.

We did find until the boss: The LIGHTNING GNOLL. He constantly causes lightning to strike the ground for a cubic assload of damage. I thought nothing of it, until the asshole wipes out my entire party. Just instantly.

Leaving me alone and severly wounded against this thing. But I knew something my group apparently didn't: Targeting reticules appear on the ground before he strikes. The key here is, DON'T ATTACK UNTIL YOU KNOW WHERE HE'S STRIKING. Get in a few hits and then get away, especially because he likes to strike near him when you approach. But it's pretty random, and he did the wide, circular pattern some three times in a row, enabling many back attacks.

End result: Shadowtaker, 1; Goblins, 0.

Once I saw the boss' death flash, I quickly typed my catchphrase in:

"UNFORTUNATELY, I DO FUCK YOU!"

... But beyond completing a few quests, I didn't get anything out of this. A good sword for Slayers dropped and everything, too. Oh well.

Gel, Otaku, and Ida and Falzar if interested, I should be okay tonight, so come on, and let's kick some ass.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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You spin me right round... [Sep. 10th, 2009|12:04 pm]
First off: Otaku, Ida, and Falzar if you're lurking: Be on tonight, if at all possible. We have business to discuss. It involves SDM.

Second...

Shining Soul 2: I know I've mentioned this in the past, but I finally sat down and decided to break the Brawler. Well, I'd been trying to break every class, but some just won't break. The Brawler, though, I already knew the charge attack for Knives was broken, I just hadn't been able to break it.

Until now. Dumping almost everything into Strength for about 20 levels means that most bosses die in about two charge attacks. It would probably be less, if I pumped more points into Strength. Right now, in preperation for Advanced mode, I'm building HP to 201 and SP to 100. Once this is done, it's all STR and DEX until I beat Advanced. Even with this, bosses that gave me nothing but grief before die screaming. It's glorious.

See... I've never beaten Advanced before. But all that's going to change. Somehow. I beat the main game in about six hours, so I'm not (too) worried. I will spin my way to victory!

And if I could, I'd LP this, since the Brawler is about the only way to play it that wouldn't be boring as hell to watch...

Third, I'd been using an online dating service... which I was probably going to ignore, since I need to pay money to send messages (Sigh...), and then... I get a message! ... and when I go to my inbox, nothing is there. I'm told that the message was either expired (unlikely, it arrived an hour ago) or the user's account was deleted due to spamming.

So, even on date sites, all I get is fucking spam. You're not alone in thinking you can't catch a break, Ida...

Anyway... Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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Maid in Japan [Sep. 8th, 2009|08:08 pm]
Okay, so.

Maid War Chronicle: Vol 2: Some time ago, I laid into the first volume of this, calling it wretched, horrible, and claiming it couldn't get any worse.

Well, I was right. Volume 2 is a vast improvement... It's just that the series is still terrible.

I complained that nothing interesting was being done with the characters and that Conga never speaks? Well, the author killed two birds with one stone, turns out Conga doesn't speak because she's a mermaid, enchanted into human form. When she speaks, she turns back into a mermaid for awhile. This was actually far more interesting than I was expecting. It's just it was foreshadowed badly, because one of the pirates said Conga had black eyes, like a mermaid... And Conga was found, washed up on the shore.

Sure, it was revealed a little while later, but this isn't how foreshadowing works, people...

It's just a pity that the only reason she, or anyone else in the team, got any screen time is because Cacao's sword broke, and hasn't been repaired yet. This, in turn, is compounded by the fact that the team has ALREADY picked up a seventh member, after a lengthy and pointless story where the Order of the Maid gets into a maid competition with some other maids... One of which becomes an extremely forced rival to Cacao. Oh, and though I don't recall what her name was, her first name is an alchaholic beverage, and her last is a birthstone. So it was fairly obvious she was going to join up.

And she proceeded to get the second most screen time of any maid in the first two volumes. So, in other words, the author cripples Cacao, to reduce her screen presence and give the other maids a chance to shine, does not do this, and then proceeds to introduce ANOTHER CACAO?!

Insert Picard facepalm here.

Also, as we learn more about the maids, we see that the author is trying to make the prince out to be sympathetic. This is really annoying, because he missed toe boat on that in the FIRST FUCKING CHAPTER.

So, yeah. This series is trying harder, but it still fails at everything it does. I didn't buy this volume and I am about ready to dismiss this series as being utterly unreadable.

... god I hope it doesn't have diehard fans. They'll be so mad if they ever read this...

Black Lagoon, vol 7: Speaking of things I read and did not buy, there's this. I know I covered this before, but having read it again... Well, I realized two things:

1) I forgot I'd read it. It's that incompitent.

2) I'd forgotten what the cliffhanger to vol 6 was. It's that bland.

I realize how what happened here: Rei Hiroe realized that he'd spent six volumes dicking around on character development, so this arc is a MASSIVE INFODUMP of all the development he missed. This volume is one cryptic, frustrating conversation right after another, and the question I have to ask myself is... does it really warrant this many chapters? Considering Hiroe's style, it's fairly obvious that Roberta is just going to die in the end anyway.

Plus she took off her maid outfit in the end, so that's about it for me.

Sigh. I find it pathetic that the longest I've ever enjoyed a manga was Yu-Gi-Oh!, clocking in at nine volumes read with relish (and the other 800 or so cheerfully ignored)...

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids. ... If there are any left, that is...

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It's a barbecue, of sorts... [Sep. 5th, 2009|12:02 pm]
Okay, so.

Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ: This is another Gel suggestion, one I waited on because, well... Gel has a tendency to support really weird games. But, when I saw it for $10 new, I decided I'd fucked around long enough. And I've just beat Normal mode, so... Yeah. It's a decent little rail shooter. And when is the last time you played a rail shooter... Okay, one you DIDN'T get from XBLA? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Cross pad moves, touching the screen shoots in the direction of your stylus. Pretty simple. You have a few extra moves, though. touching your character makes them crouch, touching a nonadjacent empty panel makes you dodge. The dodge and duck at a little twitchy, but this isn't the most I've ever fought with a control scheme.

As for the gameplay? It's decent. You generally only need to kill minibosses, which this game has NO shortage of. Bosses are large, varied and impressive (the last boss in Normal takes up BOTH screens...). Dying means you need to start the stage over, but each world has three stages, so it's not a disaster.

Playing on Normal means your game ends in Tokyo after beating the boss. The "bad" ending is pretty neat-looking, though. I'm trying to play Hard, where your health does not recover between stages, and it's... All right so far. Suprisingly fair, really. Unlike some games I've played. Looking at you, Capcom...

And yeah. This game? Was made by people on crack. Fighting a giant, zombified Grettel, who is wielding Hansel's severed leg as a club? Only the tip of the iceberg. Red herself is sex on a stick, and... Well...

... How the HELL did this game get a T rating? I swear, sometimes, I think the ESRB's critics are right...

And this is just to kill time because I still need to work Sunday and Monday.

Sigh.

Have a nice day, and enjoy your maids.
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